Turning a new leaf

I might be wrong in thinking

I might have been misled

What if whole life has been mistake

That wish to be corrected somehow.

 

I see that life maybe wrong for me

I might have viewed things wrongly.

Can a few decades of mistakes

Be forgotten and started over fresh?

 

It is time for a fresh perspective now.

Values and concepts to be relooked at.

There has always been a kindle within

That needs to be fanned into a flame now.

 

There could always have been life

Within me that told me the direction.

Never did I see the value in direction,

That kept telling me I am going wrong.

 

I believed wrong ideas. I bought

Grand things without knowing its worth.

Now I see I need to start over fresh.

With remnants of what has been.

 

This is coming true in many ways.

Life beginning as a fresher again.

Time to relook at life and everything again.

Let us turn a new page in this book of life!

Engineer alive in me

How may I arrange life?

A design of life that manifests…

Arranging elements through

In order to structure this life

 

Engineering is arrangement

Arrangement of elements.

Material and code aligns itself

To meet goals set by engineers.

 

How do I engineer life then?

Or rather some material construct?

How really do I engineer things?

This is quite something to think of.

 

Engineers come in various forms.

Thinking and solving different problems.

What problem do I have in hand?

So that I may create a solution of sorts?

 

Arranging elements to form life.

I am starting to think of things this way.

I really know that I am advancing

In this engineering form of life that is.

 

Design and Production. Engineering.

How really do these mean to me?

What am I taking from engineering concepts?

That I may advance in life.

 

Been engineering for more than a decade.

What did I learn? What did I earn?

Maybe this is time for insights check.

Is the engineer alive in me?

The disappearing rebuke

I used to fear ridicule. Very deeply.

Ridicule is after all for my person.

Once I move beyond the body,

Ridicule cannot touch me at all.

 

All rebuke and ridicule

Exists for the person alone.

I am not person at all.

The Supreme Self is no person.

 

What if I never fear ridicule?

What if I smile at the rebuker?

Will that make me anything less?

In fact I rise above everything base.

 

Rise and Rise all above ridicule.

Let the tongues speak what they want.

Let print speak what it may please.

No ridicule ever touched the mahatma.

 

Ridicule is only a crude joke

No one remembers a crude joke.

Especially when you are no person

And have no interest in the body.

 

Such relief to not care about ridicule.

Let people say what they have to.

Rise above the body mind.

Ridicules and Rebukes disappear so!

Broken world

Broken Systems. Broken Practices.

Welcome to our world. Broken world…

Grace and pure will power sustains

This broken world of broken promises.

 

We have forgotten where we come from.

We forget what oath we took in beginning.

The race for wealth and power is all we care.

Only to fall flat on our faces of pride.

 

Broken homes. Broken institutions.

That is what we inherit from the world.

Blame us not. We are born broken.

In a place that knows not what is right.

 

Broken systems. Broken places.

Broken politics. Broken psyche.

Broken corporate. Broken social.

Everything quite broken beyond repair.

 

Talk of repair and it hurts.

We prefer hanging to broken parts

Dangerously beyond doubts.

But, broken things give way when shaken.

 

How long can we hang on to the broken?

We don’t even know what intact is.

We have no ideas about the truth.

Maybe our forefathers knew something.

 

Bow to the Rishis. Learn from the Masters.

Still, they watch the broken ideas too.

Waiting for the grace to run before it hits

Like a hand of fate that destroys run out grace.

That which destroys not!

Creation. Destruction. And the balance.

It takes long to create value.

Material or Spiritual. Long time.

Yet, it can be destroyed in a moment.

 

Great natural disasters destroy

Property and lives of men in an instant.

Fall from grace destroy spiritual gains…

In fact, can spiritual gains ever destroy?

 

Is destruction a material construct?

The more one looks into the spirit,

We see nothing more than energy.

Which neither creates nor destroy!

 

Build a house. Build a code.

Build an art. All can destroy.

The matter destroys in thousands ways.

If nothing, time destroys all that stays.

 

Some say the spirit records stay

Forever as the Akashic Records.

Why play with my spiritual records

When something could transform energy?

 

Huge egos have destroyed. Power destroyed

Nations that rules have fallen.

Humans with gains have lost many.

Material powers always destroy. That is Law!

 

What is there that does not destroy?

Vedanta talks of Atman that destroys not.

Religion talks about spirits that stays eternally.

Spirit is here forever. No beginning. No end.

 

I surrender to the one that destroys not.

All that I perceive has an end. Even these thoughts.

Something I feel is here to stay till the end.

I bow only to that energy that destroys not.

Calling the Healer within

Damage done from the world.

Heal myself from all damage.

Come to the central place

And enjoy this planet as it is.

 

A lot of harm inflicts person

Though the Self is not harmed they say.

How best to heal ourselves

And revert to the original form we are?

 

Maybe it is courage that is needed.

Maybe sheer ruthlessness for a while.

But, I know I must heal. There is damage.

Cannot really see where or what damage is.

 

There is damage to the person.

Bad memories. Bad psyche.

Too much conditioning. Healing needed.

Probably too many friends at youth.

 

I know there is healing coming.

Maybe attract the right healing home.

Maybe carry on with lots of faith.

Could even religion heal me?

 

We are out there to heal the world

When our insides is what required healing.

If the healing happens, will Mukti be?

Will we be free once we are healed?

 

I know I need to complete healing

Right here in this lifetime itself.

Set the plates clean again.

So that no re-entry needed again.

 

How may I approach this healing now?

Silence and Poetry I feel somehow.

There sure is healing needed.

From time. From person. From God!

Plea for material freedom

What would be material freedom?

Never take anything. Don’t need anything.

Be always giving, if you may please.

Don’t even expect gratitude or praise.

 

I see merit in not taking anything.

If something comes, accept them.

Never ask in person. That will enslave you.

All our golden handcuffs are asked upon.

 

I keep asking for recognition.

I ask for praise; for appreciation.

For money; for accolades.

Binds you. They bind you in a cage.

 

Look for the space of emptiness.

Doing your dharma of giving as much.

Maybe in a coming life, freedom….

We have asked for so much already!

 

I know I need freedom. Breathing easy.

We know how valuable freedom really is.

Scared to work. Scared to think.

Freedom is so scarce to us today.

 

Maybe this is a desperate plea.

Even if matter is not sought,

We seek emotional perks.

No perks at all will set us free.

 

How may I not look for any perks?

What about the sense of safety then?

Fears hound us in questions of freedom.

I like to be free even from fear!

Breaking the Pleasure Spell

Chase this high and pursue pleasure

Only to get sucked deep into pain.

Pleasure and Pain: two sides of one coin

It is joy that I start to understand now.

 

Pleasure has such a high attraction;

Pulling me strong into its core.

Only to suffer in pain shortly afterwards.

I am after joy that gives me peace.

 

Pleasure was only construct for me.

For many years, I chased pleasure;

Only to witness the dark abyss of pain.

Only joy gives me peace that I was after.

 

I know pleasure is a sure trap for me.

I do walk around not to fall under pleasure.

To experience deep pain shortly next.

But, do I not joy that provides me peace?

 

I wish not to fall for pleasure. I teach myself;

The lessons needs to be stronger I know.

More than strength; I need subtlety;

Just like the subtle feel of heavenly joy.

 

Pleasure comes in various forms

External objects can come in various sizes.

Only to cry when they leave our hands.

Joy is crystallised inside; in our hearts.

 

Pleasure and Pain comes to us in cycles.

One shot after the next. Never ending.

Why go after a cycle that drains me.

Joy is a constant movement. Never stopping.

 

I have had enough of pleasure and pain.

I wish to break free from the dirty spell.

Let the lust for pleasure be broken within.

Let me sleep in the comfort of joy in my heart.

This human experience

I know the human experience.

I can feel what it means humanity.

Something calls on me.

Something acts on me. Human Experience.

 

I feel human somehow.

Is this really what it is all about?

We all have some faculties with us.

Physical, mental and spiritual.

 

I feel the human experience about me.

Do I play some faculties against one another?

Physical against spiritual maybe?

Or is it a clean game of all faculties?

 

This is the human experience I know.

There is also a fear of closing down.

Of change. Of challenge. I fear too.

What really is that fear? I know not.

 

There really is a fear of something.

Something calling my humanity incomplete.

Is my human experience complete?

Is there something more to be really human?

 

What really calls upon my human experience?

What justifies my being human? I fear.

I fear I may finish before I get the experience.

What if I don’t completely see truth?

 

What am I asking for in human experience?

What really am I calling for this lifetime?

This modern world has too many distractions.

Should I engage or disengage from life?

 

This human experience: What calls?

What needs come from this humanity?

Maybe I am already seeing it completely.

Maybe I am complete. Maybe I am not.

Calling on my strength

A combination of strengths

And a pile of weaknesses

Call on me to address my fears.

How can I stay detached?

 

Weaknesses gathered over years

Stand on top of me like a mountain.

I need to carve my road through it

Using the tools of strengths that be.

 

Engineer my way right through weakness.

Fear calls on me. Ridicule also.

Lots of conditioning calls on me.

No, I am not awake yet.

 

Still a lot of waking up needed.

I need to pour some awakening water

Splash it on my face to wake up

And understand my real strength.

 

Caving in and making way for weakness.

I am being played upon by my conditions.

I need to break this conditioning.

I am standing face to face with it.

 

Conditioning, Conditioning? What are you?

Fears and lots of baggage emotional:

I am carrying a load of bags on my back.

I am not breaking. I am building strength.

 

I know strength calls on me now.

Break the bags. Drop the emotions.

Face the world as it needs to be faced.

Just calling on my strengths today.

 

I am rather a slave to my conditions.

Situations in my youth I found myself in.

The world I am in is different. The Self

Emerges. I am calling on strength today.

 

Enough with the weakness battle already.

Gather my strengths now. Wait for battle.

Will there be a battle between black and white?

I am calling on my strength now.